You’d think it’d be easier.

IMG_20160429_235130I wish at some point in my life, maybe when I was four, or ten, or nineteen, that my mum just sat me down and told me plainly that she had no idea what she was doing. Or that my dad told me that at some point another guy somewhere would try to force his tongue into my mouth all in the name of a first kiss he himself knew nothing about.  That my mum never crossed this kind of bridge before in her life, when she’d have to lecture me about being a woman  or she’d never talked to a teenager –  who she’d breast-fed and changed diapers for –  about sex.
Sure, I heard about breakups while growing up. But no one told me anything about that feeling of emptiness that grew inside of you and made you think of horrible things about yourself. I heard about make up. But no one told me it wasn’t something I couldn’t live without or do without.
I’ve never met a guy in my entire life and felt that butterfly-in-the-belly feeling that almost every girl talks about. I’ve just looked into people’s eyes and seen things that looked like feelings, maybe emotions, I’m not a good judge.
I’m just beginning my adulthood and no one ever said anything to me about the struggles. About that continuous feeling of responsibility, when you feel you’re in the position to do something but don’t have the resources to do them. About that feeling of finishing school and service and feeling like a very useless piece of responsibility to the people you should now be responsible for.
Everyone just talks about leaving school, about starting a business, about living the single life with the very nice apartment and company car and benefits, about getting married to which ever one of the candidates that has more money and enough sense to know what is right from wrong, about the very expensive and extravagant weddings that didn’t have anything to do with whether the couples were in love or not.
Everybody talks. We talk and talk and talk. But we talk only about the surfaces, trying not to spill out the things that trouble us the most. The slipping CGPAs, the non-existing boyfriend at twenty-five, the possibilities of having your own children, the drinking problem you’ve been trying to overcome since you found out about the wonders of alcohol in JS2, the job you presently have that is in no way related to what you’ve spent almost half of your life in school for, the aching lump in your stomach you’re scared to wits about and sick to your bones about going to the hospital for a checkup, the way the Pastor in church talks about every kind of sin (all of which you’re very and presently guilty) and you sit silently nodding “ticked” in your head and glued to your chair while he makes alter calls.
I’d say we should reach out more to one another, adults helping beginner-adults, friends telling friends their deepest fears, you feeling more righteous than your friend just because you don’t smoke and drink the way he does (sin is sin, by the way, great or small), mothers telling their daughters how hard it was for them too and how they got over it all and are still strong, dads teaching their sons how to save and invest their money very early. Stuff like that would be really good, trust me. But it’s never easy to open up. 99.99% of the “I’m fine” response we hear daily are total and unconscious lies. No. No one is fine. No one is okay. We just learn how to live with whatever we’re going through, until it decides to leave us alone. Or most people just look for the easiest way out. Dupe people instead of remaining broke or try making some legit money they’d be proud of no matter how small, become a professional prostitute instead of being called a slut, suicide instead of facing your fears. Really, all we all just want to do is survive, through the next day, the next week, the next year. But in doing this, we do it with a positive mentality. Keep our heads up high and never let it down. Say no to the wrong things no matter how tempting and in vogue. Stay true to yourself and God.No matter what. ✌

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5 Comments Add yours

  1. Toni says:

    Who are we to judge just because someone sins differently than we do.
    Never were there truer words in all my days I’ve ever heard. Preach on !!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Chidubem says:

    This pieces simply touched me ..I love it☺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. oyinaraoye says:

      I’m glad it did dear.

      Like

  3. Grey says:

    Lovely piece! Great writing… please keep it coming

    Liked by 1 person

    1. oyinaraoye says:

      Thanks Grey. I will.

      Like

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